That's just how it goes~

Welp, I know I haven't posted in several months, and I got one comment, (which I appreciated, hearing from someone at all is encouraging, especially if it's positive, so THANK YOU). But I thought I'd put something up again, just some of my thoughts about life. I just want to say, if you're reading this, and you're going through a tough time, You are NOT alone. I'm there with you, along with countless others, so keep your head high, there are people like you. I've been contemplating on my life a lot recently. I've realized a couple things that, to put it quite simply, are discouraging. I follow my heart, a lot, and in some situations, that get's me in some deep waters. Countless times I have put other people before myself, even if that means compromising my beliefs, and I find myself in a stage of regret. I'm looking at myself and thinking, "What have I done?" I've done some things that I wish I hadn't. I can never take it back and say, "you know what, I've decided that was a bad idea" No, it's gone forever, and looking at my life in dual vision, both in foresight and retrospect, I realize that I very well may have ruined my chances of a future that I never saw until recently. It's just snapping me into a reality that's quite depressing. I don't know if I can still rescue my life, but the chances aren't looking bright. Now, physically, I'll be fine, I'm not going to die because of the choices I've made, but, emotionally, I'm already a disaster. I see the future that I want, and I can't pursue that future. It isn't my fear (which is quite extensive, might I add) It's the fact that I am so destroyed emotionally, and I'm not ready to handle it yet.. I guess I'm kinda just hinting at it, sorry for that, but I'm not ready to put it out for the public to see. Sometime I'll put down into words, just what that future is, and why I'm not pursuing it yet. But until then, I need to get my head screwed on straight. So wish me luck, and remember, no matter what the situation, you aren't alone <3 I promise.
~Malachi~